How does one handle the pain when a parent will not allow her child to spend time with his grandparents?
I am so sorry if this is your situation as I can totally relate. I have lived this pain since all 4 of my sonu2019s became adults and married. My first 3 walked away and except for the first 4 years of one sonu2019s childrenu2019s lives I have not seen them since, and not spent time with any of the others. The most painful is from my youngest son. His daughter and I have been in each others life since she was born and is now 8, and through anger and misunderstandings from her parentsu2023 who are separated and navigating this painful experience they now have stopped allowing me to see my sweet granddaughter. Remember hurting people hurt people. Of course many will assume it is justified, but in many cases this occurs either from pain the parents are walking, or hardness of their hearts and yes grandparents make mistakes but all people do. However, we live in a pretty godless society where adult children often no longer hold to the truth of importance of family or do not believe and obey the principles of God and HIS word. Sometimes it happens to prevent grandparents a voice with their grandchildren that goes against what the parents views are, such as the grandparent believes and lives according to Godu2019s word, and parents have either walked away from this or never came to a knowledge and walk with Jesus and donu2019t want their children to know faith in God. There are many erroneous reasons this occurs too often in families today, and it is hurtful for all concerned I hope my answer will pryou the support you need to walk this painful path.Making this decision more that hurting the grandparents, while that certainly is a painful journey, it hurts the grandchildren and cheats them out of the love and wisdom God intended for children to enjoy. The memories of the wonderful times spent with my granddaughter no doubt has her wondering where is her Nana. We shared many special times like the first and only time she has ridden a horse and I can still see the smile that never left her face to this day, she was just 4 and 5. The many crafts we made together and the walks and shared times like going on a scavenger hunt and making a scrapbook. And the scrapbooks made for her memories with pictures. The room we painted in my home to her wishes and so much more. And yes the pain is real and difficult however as a Christian this is how I am dealing with my loss.God has the big picture and I can only see here and now. I donu2019t know why God has allowed this in my life, however, perhaps for me it was to drive me to HIM and develop a deeper faith that sustains me and will allow me to never lose hope.Also, we donu2019t know what our children are going through and just as we often made mistakes they too will make some and we need to continue to pray for them as in the end what will be most important is that they come to a true knowledge and live in obedience to God so their lives and those of their children will be blessed.So most of all never stop praying and continue to live each day with the hope that your grandchildrenu2019Continue to pray that the parents will come to realize that their children can and will benefit from grandparents love and deserve the love of all their family, and pray that whatever has hardened their hearts to this truth that God will reveal to them HIS truth and soften their hearts to do what is best for their children not based on their feelings but on God truth. Connecting Through PrayerI hope the link to this article will do for you what it has reminded me of that while we might not see our grandchildren we can connect to them through prayer. If you are assured that you can write to them and your letters or cards will be given to them, do so and write encouraging letters to support them and focus totally on letting them know you love them and pray for them every day. Do not use these efforts in any way to demean or discuss the parentu2019s. They love their parents and children should never be asked to deal with adult issues or to feel they have to choose between being loyal to one or the other. They need to be encouraged to love and respect their parents always, even if you think they are doing something in error, never voice a negative to the grandchild as that only hurts the child. Adults should never cause a child to doubt those who love them and be allowed to judge for themselves base don their experience with each as we all change and grow and how our children experienced us may be totally different than how our grandchildren do, because life usually sees us growing in wisdom as we age and our relationship with our grandchildren can be an added benefit to the raising of their child and I pray one day they will come to see this.I you are not allowed any contact or canu2019t be sure your efforts will be received just keep pray as HE is the only one with the power to change the circumstances in our lives. Connecting Through PrayerThe statement below is from the article I placed in this answer and my thoughts and prayers are with you that we will pray for our grandchildren that God will answer it what is best and right according to HIS word and HIS will and purpose.We need to know Love is of God and where there is no love God does not control the dynamics of the family decisions. Where there is God there is love so keep praying for this to become a realtyKnowing my grandmother was supporting me in prayer made all the difference. Despite the miles between us, her constant prayers drew us closer and gave me assurance that I wasn't alone.
